Squirreling
Enough people have commented on how much I eat - colleagues, friends, family, that I think it’s pretty unanimous, I can eat. A lot. My current boss asked me to get checked for parasites, while his secretary will ask me “what’s wrong?” if she passes my office and I’m not eating. I’m not sure if this is just me, but I get really hungry when Autumn/Winter comes. I crave carbs A LOT. I’ve been likend to a hoarding squirrel. Only instead of stashing it in the backyard, I’m packing it on my backside. Obviously, my habit is no longer sustainable because my body is slowing down. Or at the very least, can’t keep up with my mouth. Now here is where I start to sound old (if I don’t already). Back in my college years, two lunches a day after a hearty breakfast, was a regular occurrence. One lunch on my own and the second lunch with a friend who lived off campus. The routine included dinner, of course, and then the infamously unhealthy late night snack consisting of buffalo wings, belgium waffles with every imaginable topping, nachos, pizza, Lucky Charms, you get the picture. During finals week, my friends & I would reward ourselves with “steak & cheese with extra grease,” fries, and Mountain Dew. Ah those were some good days. Maybe that’s why people often say the college years are some of the best during our lives. We could eat a heavy meal, feel totally stuffed, fall asleep in a satisfied food coma, and wake up ready to eat again. I don’t know when that ability disappeared, but it’s gone. Nowadays, if I pour myself an extra helping of cereal, I may as well just stick it to my thighs. I realize this is one of those constants, universal to all. Gas prices invariably increase. Metabolism diminishes. I can no longer down an entire Supersize bag of Fritos Scoops right before dinner. Boy do I want to right now though.
Our cars lose fuel efficiency as they age, while we gain efficiency. Wouldn’t it be nice if it were the other way around?
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