Why do Girl Scout cookies taste so good? Let’s analyze this cookie by cookie.

Thin Mints – Arguably the best of the bunch. They’re a simple chocolatey minty Oreo-like cookie without the creme filling. Like an Andes in cookie form. I am capable of eating a roll by myself in one sitting. I don’t. Anymore.

Samoas – These would be the best, but I can’t eat as many of them in one sitting as I can the Thin Mints. That is the only reason why they’re second on my list. If you like Twix, you’ll like Samoas.

Trefoils – Typical shortbread cookies. I’ve had better. Lorna Doones for instance.

Tagalongs – Peanut butter chocolate cookies. Not my fave. (This after I just stuffed one in my face a minute ago. I guess I should translate, “Not my fave” means you can pry the box out of my hands without too much fight.)

Lemon Coolers – They don’t make them anymore so I don’t know why I put them on the list.

And mercy me, that’s thankfully all the evil I’ve been exposed to thus far. I didn’t order cookies this year and yet they’ve managed to find me. Samoas, Thin Mints, and Tagalongs. Axis of Evil.