By the time Intelliflix sent me this movie, it had been a year and I forgot I even wanted to see this. But as soon as I saw Paul Rudd in the beginning credits, I remembered. It was during my Rudd-crush phase when I added the movie to my queue. For a lot of Rudd-crushers it’s the dorky awkwardness we find so endearing in this guy. He’s probably cool and smooth in real life, but we just like to think of him as a cute, unassuming, nerdy kinda’ feller.

Synopsis: An art student, played by Rachel Weisz, meets socially awkward Rudd. They date and then she begins to change him a lot.

Didn’t like this movie. The trailer showed it as a comedy but I didn’t find it funny. Sad, really, and wasn’t entertaining to me.

So yesterday, we took Bible-thumper out to Bertucci’s for lunch. He just finished grad school. Then during conversation, Stick-Up-Ass started on about how Asians eat dogs and cats and how he never orders anything but shrimp at Chinese restaurants because they’re all suspiciously located by veterinarian offices. He’s afraid that’s where Chinese restaurants get their meat. I was like, “Stick-Up-Ass, that’s so IGNORANT!” He also asked me about the craziest animals I’ve ever eaten. Hey, it’s cool to talk about it when we’re all just acknowledging how I could totally win Fear Factor eating some (not really) “out-there” stuff, but he’s sitting there generalizing about how barbaric Asians are for eating dogs and cats like he was a vegetarian. Oh by the way, he says chickens, pigs, and cows are just animals, they don’t have feelings like dogs and cats. Can I go bang my head on the wall now or do I wait til after lunch? Cripes, that boy is misdirected.

Those smiley faces are mocking me.

1. Wipe - You’re sweaty, sticky, and dripping with pheremones. And I’m not referring to the sexy turn-me-on kind either. I can provide my own sweat thank you.

2. Lift a reasonable amount of weight - No pain, no gain. I get it and I totally feel ya. I just don’t need to hear ya. “Unh, urgh, hooooo, ssstttsss,” can be saved for elsewhere. And no, we’re not impressed.

3. Sing in your brain - There’s a reason why the iPod is played into your ears, and not mine. It’s generous of you to want to share your cover of Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On, but no. Please.

4. Don’t stare - I could stare right back, but I don’t because it’s rude. So don’t do it.

5. Share the equipment - You hop on the treadmill, just standing there, chatting with your friend. 15 minutes later, you realize you’ll burn more calories if you turn it on and walk a little. 10 minutes later, someone shows up wanting the treadmill. You get what I’m trying to say.  Also, if you see people waiting, follow the rules of the time limits set by the gym. It’s actually more interesting to switch it up a bit anyway.

I heard Bobby Helms’ “Jingle Bell Rock” this morning on the radio as I was getting ready to leave. Instead of X-mas though, it reminded me of LiLo and Mean Girls. That was a good movie. Maybe I’ll watch it again sometime this week.

The Ant Bully - I could rave about or trash this movie, but I won’t because I fell asleep in the middle of it. So I don’t really know. I liked the parts up until I fell asleep though, so I’m going to try and finish it later. I’m gettin’ old. Can’t even stay up for a less than 2 hour long movie. I fell asleep watching a Seinfeld DVD too so it has nothing to do with content. It’s not them, it’s me.

Mascara. First it’s lead in lipstick, now it’s mercury in mascara. Do you see a pattern here? Yeah, they alliterate! Cool huh? Well that, and they’re heavy metals in cosmetics! I didn’t even know it was lawful to put Hg in cosmetics these days but what do I know? So what’s next? Evil in eyeliner? Oh wait, evil is not a heavy metal. Whew. We’re saved. Because as we all know, if you have to walk out the door with nothing else on, let it not be eyeliner.

6:30 AM - Buried my head under the covers to muffle out the radio. It worked, but then I couldn’t breathe.  Genius, I know.  That would be me.

6:45 AM - Listened to the radio hosts give the young producer a hard time when his joke crash and burned. He tries but usually he’s either a) putting his foot in his mouth or b) getting attacked by the other DJs. Ouch. Their berating him and his painful back pedaling woke me up though. Poor kid.

6:47 AM - Threw on a jacket and slumped downstairs to drink coffee. Coooooffeeeee, I love theeeee!

6:50 AM - Sipped my coffee, ate banana bread, and read me some newspaper… something about umami. Realized it was close to 7 and hauled my butt back upstairs, stopping to take an admiring glance at myself in the hall mirror.

7:15 AM - Gathered my schtuff and hoped for the best commute-wise. Caraoked to work. Jack Johnson today, intermingled with some Goo Goo Dolls.

8:00 AM - Trudged grudgingly into my office. I’m usually pretty perked up by now due to the caffeine, so it’s not so trudgy. I just like to say that because it sounds good - y’know, rhymes. Besides I dunno about ya’ll but if anyone said “skipped perkily into work” in the morning… uh, woe.

*Blur, fuzz, haze* Lost brain cells. Atrophied my brain a bit. Talked to Bible-thumper for some entertainment.

11:30 AM - Met a pal for lunch. She told me her latest tales of office antics and I shared mine. Then we talked about other random stuff and finally, trudged back to work.

*Blur, fuzz, haze* Talked to Too-Nice to get lessons on patience and kindness and all that mumbo-jumbo. My new hurdle is cleaning my vocab up a bit. “Damn,” “fuck,” and “shit” have no business flying out of the mouth of a sweet, nice person such as myself. She threatens to poke me with a Taser every time I curse. It’s a work in progress, but shit *zzzap* if I can’t curse working here.

5:00 PM - Packed and took off lickety split! Caraoked home. Hilary Duff.

5:40 PM - Picked up the mail, brought in the recycling/waste bins.

5:45 PM - Cursed at the junk mailers while sorting through the mail. Not really. I suffer in silence.

6:00 PM - Ate dinner. Read the paper and some other stuff.

7:30 PM - Watched the latest DVD that came in the mail. Seinfeld reruns this time. Fell semi-asleep.

9:00 PM - Hopped on the computer to chat with the sis.

10:00 PM - Wrote this entry. It’s off to bed in a couple more hours. I’m going to go putz around for a bit, maybe knit or something before I sleep.

Speaking of no life… last week, Weingarten had a poll about suicide. After taking the poll, I started to think what I’d do differently if I knew I was going to be kicking the bucket in the near future. On the drive to work, I started a list of things I’d do differently. Here’s what I came up with:

1. Stop buying underwear. I have too much of it and it’s cluttering up my dressers. If I were to go through all of it, I could probably get away with not doing laundry for at least 2 months.
2. Stop buying makeup. I realize that a dying person needs to look good as much as the next person but I’ve got enough to make me look like Tammy Faye Baker a gajillion times over if I were to try to use it all up. Nobody ever uses up makeup. It gets old and then tossed. A good thing. (Dang, I sound like I’m some kinda’ shopaholic or something. And since when did biting the dust induce thriftyness? Since when did I ever make any sense? :p)
3. Eat HFCS, transfats and other “inedibles” in disgusting quantities. Enjoy it all, guiltfree.

I’ve been blogging too much. Yes, there is such a thing as too much in blog-world and I’ve officially hit the too-much mark. People are gonna start wondering if I have a life if I keep this up. So today, I’m taking a break. No more talking. Just for today. Just going to take a break and shut up.

Why are all these economists talking about a looming recession? As far as I can tell, we’re already in it.

Indisputable Evidence: The people in my neighborhood looooove gaudy X-mas/winter decorations. Usually, right after Thanksgiving (some even before), they adorn their homes with enough lights to outshine NYC. But dooode, this year, I only saw a handful. That’s about 5 to be imprecise. I loved walking around my hood taking in all the lights and nativity scenes and Santa-reindeer lawn ornaments in previous years. It’s near X-mas, where’d they all go?!

And just in case ya’ll were wondering what all this talk of the weakening dollar is and why we’re so worried about it, as well as the latest quarter percent Federal Reserve rate cut and what that’s all about… From what I understand, Wall Street is unhappy with the cut saying it wasn’t enough. But maybe they’re being doofy about this all. The purpose of our central bank is to protect the value of the dollar. By lowering the federal funds rate, they’re doing the opposite, devaluing the dollar. I know!! And they keep doing it! They’re hoping the banks will start feeling more comfortable and give out loans and borrow and move money around. But y’know what? I don’t think they will. They’re scared. I don’t blame them, these be funny times (Collateralized Debt Obligations went sour, housing bubble pop) . So who cares if the dollar is weak? When the value of the dollar decreases, the price of imports increases, which then causes our own U.S. goods prices to follow suit. To match that, labor costs rise because we all have to make more money to keep up with the cost of living. Now everything gets more expensive. Inflation. To correct that, interest rates rates and taxes rise. That takes $ out of commission because when interest rates rise, people will save. Then we get the whole recession thing. …just in case anybody cared about that stuff. This guy has some interesting things to say.