Somewhere in the unwritten rules of dressing, the same somewhere that speaks of awfulness that is wearing white shoes after Labor Day, but before Memorial Day; the same place that says pleated pants are unacceptable and button-down collars were created for heathens, are the rules about Christmas holiday attire. I currently own a pair of black socks with Tweety wearing a wreath and pajamas that look like this: … so I know what I’m talking about.

A perfectly charming penguin bearing mint candy. I only posted the small size because those pajama bottoms are pretty frightening up close. Owning these items makes me an expert and I’m offering you expert advice for free.

Now the rule about holiday clothing is, one is only allowed to wear it during the season, after Thanksgiving, preferably December, but put it away by the 31st. It’s also only acceptable for children 5 and under. After that, you are henceforth banned from such hideousness. Unless of course, you’re me. In which case, it’s ok year-round.